I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
there is glitter all over my balls
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