my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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