i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
