she looked like the before picture.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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