Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
