Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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