Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
