Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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