She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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