Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if only i could text you this smell
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
