thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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