You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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