I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
