You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
