the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
