I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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