Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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