She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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