Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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