So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
