I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
