I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
