Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
