Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
