her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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