They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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