Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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