There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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