How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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