oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
