I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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