I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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