Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
