Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
