she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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