there's paper in my vomit.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
