WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
