oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
bring money and cleavage
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
