You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
