please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
