Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
