so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
