come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
