And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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