There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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