shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
