So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
only if we run a train.
done.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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