I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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