I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
