I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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