you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Someone signed my nipple.
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