So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
there is puke in my bra ... again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
