Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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