Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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