She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize