brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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