Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
