Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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