your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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