FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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