there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
