Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
