i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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