i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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