quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
