so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize