Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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