I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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