come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
