sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
